The Darkness Inside
by sashsweetie
Summary: Draco Malfoy, contemplates his life and how easy it would be to just end it all...then,
1. The Darkness Inside

The Darkness Inside

_I never wanted to be like this. I never asked to have the parents I ended up with. I never asked to be beaten when I didn't comply with my father's wishes, or when the reports Crabbe and Goyle sent to my father weren't good enough. I feel like a prisoner. I suppose I am really, with those thugs following me everywhere and watching my every move. They aren't as stupid as they act._

_I've often wondered if this life is worth living. Death and suicide are subjects which have occupied my thoughts ever since I was a small child and my father started abusing me. Somehow I think Harry Potter is the only person who would understand me at all. I've heard about how is Aunt and Uncle treat him...and I've seen the bruises. No-one ever sees mine - father is very careful about where they are located._

_I don't have any real friends here either. Crabbe and Goyle are the only ones who spend time with me, besides that Pansy who keeps trying to get me to ask her out. Personally, I would prefer someone with half a brain. Like Ginny Weasley. Not that she'd ever go out with me, I've been so awful. Better to be alone until I leave home than suffer more beatings._

_Not that death would be so bad. Is it better not to exist than to live like this? Some days I just want it all to end. Most days in fact._ _How hard would it be to still my breath and end it all. Slip into unconsciousness and never wake up? Mix a drought to stop my heart from beating...The_ _library has the recipes. I know; I looked as soon as I had permission to enter the Restricted Section. Could buy the ingredients in Hogsmeade...So easy..._

Draco closed the notebook and turned over to stare at a poem he had stuck to the wall, hidden by the curtains of his four-poster.

* * *

Solitude

left in silence

alone

the darkness inside

is always hidden

by me

disguise the pain

with cruelty

why?

loneliness is the life

I have been chosen to live.

* * *

He flipped onto his back and glared at the canopy of the bed. Why him? Life should have so much to offer. Sighing glumly, he climbed from his bed and gathered up his books for class.

* * *

Like? Hate? Review? Please do! pleading eyes


	2. Homeward Bound

Chapter 2

A/N: sorry if a few things are a little off regarding what happened in OoTP, I don't have it with me the moment....

* * *

"_Crucio!" _

_A nine-year-old Draco screamed and his body arched involuntarily as the spell hit him once again. Tears streamed uncontrollably down his cheeks._

"_Weakling." his father sneered at him, his wand still in hand. Suddenly he lashed out and kicked Draco in the stomach._

_The blow knocked all the air from his lungs and Draco thought he heard a rib crack. Painfully he curled into a ball as his father strode from the room. _

_Sitting in an armchair in the corner, his mother made no move to help him._

Tears burned in his eyes as he pulled himself out of the memory. He was glad his father was finally getting what he deserved - jail time. It certainly made the fact that his was heading home easier. Draco picked up his bags as Crabbe and Goyle came up behind him. "Let's go guys." Slowly the threesome made their way down to the carriages waiting outside the school.

* * *

"Let's go bug the Gryffindor's."

It wasn't a question. Draco sighed. "Fine."

He got to his feet and made his way out of the compartment and down the corridor.

"I'll get you for what you did to my father." He growled at Harry and the others who were in the compartment as he opened the door.

Meeting Ginny's eyes for a moment, he was disappointed to see hatred in them. Not that he could blame her...He didn't even know why he had hoped for anything different. He sighed again.

"Get out, Malfoy!" Harry sneered at him in disgust. "Your father got what he deserved."

Draco would have liked to agree with him, but Crabbe and Goyle were there, so instead he turned and left the compartment, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

I know it's extremely short...sorry!! But new chapters are going to be posted in a couple of hours, so I expect you can hang on....sorry again if the dialogue was a bit off what was actually said...as I mentioned, I don't have access to the book at the moment...

(please, please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


	3. In the Rain

A Trip Through Hard and Rocky Places

15-year-old Ginny Weasley determinedly made her way back towards the castle from Herbology, her coat done up tightly against the wind and rain which made up the late September weather. Her hat pulled down low to protect her auburn hair, and her chin tucked into her collar, she didn't see the similarly dressed figure hurrying in the opposite direction, and he didn't see her.

"Oh!" Ginny cried in surprise as she was knocked to the ground, her books flying into the mud that the path had been reduced to.

"I'm so sorry!" the boy exclaimed. "Let me help you." He extended a hand and helped her up before bending to pick up her books. Ginny crouched down beside him and started picking them up as well.

"It's really alright you know." She told him. "I can finish picking these up. No point in us both being late."

"No, no. It's fine." Quickly the boy helped her gather up the rest of the books and handed her the large stack.

"Thank you." Ginny smiled at him.

"No problem." he smiled back. A sudden gust of wind blew Ginny's hat from her head, and her arms full of books, she was unable to stop it.

"Weasley?!" the boy's eyes widened in disbelief as Ginny's auburn hair whipped around her face.

Ginny's eyes widened too when she remembered that only one person called her by that name...and that person was Draco Malfoy.

"M-Malfoy?" she stuttered weakly. "But you were..." she swallowed. "...nice!"

"Yeah..." he trailed off. "I was." the concept of having been anything but horrid to her seemed to be rather confusing to him.

Ginny stood silently for a moment, then said "Well, I'd better get to class. Bye!" she turned and ran off towards the castle.

"Bye." Draco echoed quietly as he watched her slender figure retreat into the building.


	4. Hallowe'en

All Hallows Eve

A/N: In my world, people from other houses are allowed into the common rooms if invited....

* * *

Over a month later, Hallowe'en evening came warm and dry as Ginny and Hermione stood in Hermione's dormitory putting the finishing touches on their costumes for the Hallowe'en Ball.

"Do I look OK?" Hermione fretted.

"You look wonderful, 'Mione, calm down and stop worrying!" Ginny smiled warmly at her friend.

Just then, a voice floated up the stairs. "Ready guys?" Harry's voice asked.

"Yeah!" Ginny called and patted Hermione on the shoulder. "Don't worry."

Heading down to the common room, they found their large group of friends seated around the coffee table.

"Why didn't you call us down earlier?" Hermione questioned, taking a seat beside Harry and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"We only just got here 'Mione." Luna smiled at her gently from her seat beside Ron, her hand clasped gently by his.

They had both changed significantly over the summer; Ron had mellowed into a tall and handsome, auburn-haired heartthrob, whose easy-going friendliness had most of the girls chasing after him, and Luna, for her part, had lost most of her strangeness and had become a calm and ethereal beauty who had captured Ron's heart somewhere in the middle of the summer when she had come to visit, and they had been dating ever since.

"Yeah, no worries." Neville grinned. "But we probably should get going."

"Sure." said Ginny, taking the lead and getting to her feet. "Let's go."

The group made their way down to the Great Hall, where they were met by some of Ginny's fifth year friends. The Hall looked amazing. Jack-o-lanterns glowed from among the dead trees and tombstones which decorated the room. Dried leaves crunched underfoot, giving the feeling that one was out-of-doors, especially with a full moon and a sky full of stars shining down from the ceiling. Beside the dance floor, the outdoor image was completed with a gigantic bonfire. On a stage, the Weird Sisters had their instruments out and were playing quietly haunting music to add to the Hallowe'en mood.

"Shall we get seats?" Ron requested, making his way towards the tables. "I'm starved!"

The rest of the group trailed after him and Luna a little more slowly, taking in the scene around them.

* * *

"Want to dance?" Ginny's friend Sophia requested seductively of Draco Malfoy later that evening.

The passing Slytherin stopped. "Uh, sure...I guess." he glanced momentarily at Ginny, who had been chatting with Sophia. She half-smiled at him before being asked to dance by one of her other friends. Afterwards, she and Malfoy ended up standing side by side in slightly uncomfortable silence before they mumbled excuses and turned and walked off in different directions.

Later that night, as she lay in bed, Ginny found her thoughts turning towards none other than Draco Malfoy. She frowned slightly. Why was he acting the way he was? That time he was nice to her...Well, he hadn't known it was her, she supposed. But their eyes had caught several times over the last month, and he had held her gaze briefly until one of them turned away. And then tonight...No sarcastic comment...No he actually be a nice person under there? Crabbe and Goyle seemed to have evaporated.

Ginny suddenly noticed that she hadn't seen them this year. That was interesting.

Sighing, she flipped over in bed. No point in trying to figure it out now; things would reveal themselves as the year went on, she was sure of it.


	5. A Visit to Hogsmeade

Draco Malfoy yawned as he made his way slowly up the Hogsmeade sign-out lineup. He had hardly slept last night trying to finish his honours Potions essay. He had been trying to get it out of the way for the weekend, but, oh well, he still had tomorrow.

Suddenly, he caught sight of Ginny. She was a few people in front of him, laughing as she chatted with Hermione. Draco watched her carefully. He hoped she knew that he wasn't the way he had seemed over the last few years. Having finally talked his mother into getting rid of Crabbe and Goyle, his...well...guards, essentially, he felt like a free man. There were no more reports to his family on his behaviour by Crabbe and Goyle. No more miserable summers, now his father was gone. No more....Ginny noticed his eyes on her and glanced back at him, taking a moment to smile before turning back to Hermione.

Draco's previous thoughts were banished. Ginny Weasley. She really was amazing. She seemed to have forgiven his previous slurs on her family and, judging by her behaviour, was giving him a second chance.

**Ginny POV**

"Bye, guys!" Ginny waved to Hermione and the others as she wandered off with some of her fifth-year friends. "Two-thirty in the Three Broomsticks, right?"

"Yeah! See you then!"

"Where shall we go first?" Sophia questioned. "I need to do some Christmas shopping."

"Me too!"

"Me three!" came the chorus from Marie and Kaytie. All eyes turned to Ginny, who sighed. It was always like this...She always had to make the decisions...It was like they were sheep or something! Nice sheep though. Even if it did get irritating once in a while, they were still her friends.

"Ummm...Honeydukes?" she suggested tentatively.

"Great!" announced Sophia, grabbing Ginny's arm and running towards the store, dragging Ginny behind her through the snow.

Several hours later, laden with shopping bags, they trudged down the main street. "How about this one?" Kaytie asked, stopping outside a small store with interesting-looking merchandise.

"I'll sit this one out." Ginny decided, glancing at the large, mechanical clock which towered over the town. "I have to go meet my brother and everyone."

"'Kay." Marie waved as she moved past Ginny and into the store. "See you back at school!"

"See you." Ginny waved back as she walked off towards the pub.

The group were already there. "Hey Gin!" Luna smiled at her from where she sat, butterbeer in hand. "The others are just getting drinks."

"Thanks." Ginny grinned in return. "Be right back." and with that she made her way towards the bar.

"Butterbeer, please" she requested of the barman.

"Make that two." A familiar voice said from behind her. Ginny whipped around to face Draco Malfoy.

"Hey Weas...I mean Ginny." he greeted her with a lopsided smile on his face. "Sorry, old habits die hard."

"Hiya. Don't worry about it." she responded, her eyes twinkling. Taking a sip of her butterbeer, she offered "care to join us?" she motioned in the general direction of their table.

He looked behind him to where the others were sitting, and saw Ron, a picture of his old self, being restrained by Harry and Luna while trying to escape to "rescue" his little sister. Draco's smile fell. "I don't think I'm welcome." he replied, voice dull.

"You can't blame them...You haven't exactly been a model of kindness in the past." she whispered to him. He hung his head.

"I know. Well, I'll see you around."

"Sure." Ginny nodded, "See you around."

She wandered back towards the table.

"What did he do to you?"demanded Ron as she sat down. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Said hello? Honestly, Ron, can't you tell he's changed with Crabbe and Goyle gone?"

"Right bloody turnaround. Bit suspicious if you ask me. I think he's trying to become friends with us so he can report to his dear old dad on the movements of Dad and Dumbledore and people."

Everyone else rolled their eyes at this.

"Can't you just accept that with his dad locked away and those two idiots no longer watching his every move, he's actually showing that he's a nice person?" Ginny questioned emphatically.

"No I can't. Have you forgotten how horrible he's been over the last 5 years?"

"No, Ron, I haven't. Just because you can't accept that things change doesn't mean I'm not willing to give him a second chance! " Ginny slammed down her bottle, making everyone jump as she stalked towards the door.

* * *

"Gin?" Hermione questioned through the hangings around Ginny's four-poster bed. "You there?"

"Yeah, hang on." Ginny opened the hangings so that Hermione could sit down, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked, concerned, thinking Ginny was wiping away tears.

"Yep, I was just asleep."

"Oh. Sorry." Hermione grinned. "So Ron was being a bit...."

"He's just being protective. It does get on my nerves though."

"Why were you standing up for Malfoy, anyway?"

"I guess I just believe everyone deserves a second chance."

"Well, he does seem to have changed for the better, I admit. But he's been so awful before..."

"You have to start somewhere."

"Yeah."

"If you don't mind 'Mione, I'm going to go do some work in the library. Want to join me?"

"No thank you." Hermione smiled impishly. "I think I'll head back to Harry's room. I told Harry I'd be back soon."

Ginny grinned at her. "Well, have fun."

"See you."


	6. Merry Christmas

"Merry Christmas, Ginny!!" Ginny groaned and rolled over, wrapping the covers around her.

"What t-t-time is it?" she yawned, as she snuggled into her pillow.

"7 a.m." Ron laughed, grabbing her foot and trying to tug her out of bed. Ginny responded by holding onto a bedpost. "Come on, Ginny, it's _Christmas_! Ugh, help me, Harry."

Harry picked Ginny up off the bed while Ron untangled her fingers from the bedpost. Along with much angry threatening on Ginny's part, and laughter from Harry and Ron, Ginny was slid down the stairs to the common room, still wrapped in blankets, while the boys gathered up her gifts and brought them downstairs.

"I decided it was easier to co-operate." Hermione raised an eyebrow at Ginny as she picked herself up from the base of the staircase.

"Mmm Hmm." Ginny agreed. "Probably."

And then the gift-opening began...

"Ow! Ginny, that hurt!" Harry winced, his face covered by snow.

"Aww, I'm sorry, Harry." she grinned at him impishly. "Consider it payback."

The four of them, plus several students from other houses had decided to go ice skating before the afternoon Christmas lunch, and were cleaning the snow off the lake by throwing it at each other.

"Psst." A loud whisper came from a tree behind Ginny. "Oy. Ginny."

She turned around and grinned to see the face of Draco Malfoy sticking out from behind the tree. Quickly she skated over. "I take it you aren't joining us then."

He shook his head. "No. I just wanted to give you your gift." Blushing, he handed her a card with two roses on top of it, one white, one red.

"Oh, that's so sweet..."Ginny smiled at him. "But I didn't get you anything."

"Doesn't matter. Well, I have to go, but I'll see you around."

"Bye." Ginny sat down in the snow by the tree and opened the card.

_Dear Ginny,_

_I just want you to know how amazing I think you are._

_I have never known anyone like you before, and I would like _

_to thank you for giving me another chance to be your friend..._

_Or maybe more? I'll be out by the lake at about 8 tonight, if_

_you care to join me, please do. _

_Draco._

_P.S. the white rose means innocence and honesty, and the red rose_

_means love and respect._

"Was that Draco Malfoy I saw just now?" Hermione asked as she took a seat beside Ginny.

"Yes."

"Why are you giving him a second chance?"

"Because I was given a second chance after that whole Tom Riddle incident." Ginny looked over at Hermione. "Now that his father isn't watching his every step, why shouldn't we give him a chance to show us who he really is?"

"I'd never looked at it that way before." Hermione smiled at her.

"Well, he truly seems to have changed since his father has been imprisoned and now that Crabbe and Goyle are gone."

"Yeah, he does." Hermione agreed quietly. "But be careful, okay?"

Ginny nodded. "I will."

That evening, she made her way down to the lake to meet Draco. She found him leaning back against the weeping willow tree that draped into the lake and took a seat beside him.

"Hey." he whispered quietly in the absolute darkness. "Look." he pointed across the lake. Tiny fairies glowed among the bushes that lined the other side, and Ginny caught her breath.

"Its so beautiful!." she breathed in awe. She shivered in the snow, and Draco gently tucked the blanket that was covering his legs around hers as well.

"I come here whenever I can, to see them." he whispered to her. "Would you like a butterbeer?" Ginny nodded silently, and sipped at the warm liquid he gave to her.

After sitting in comfortable silence for a while, Ginny yawned and gently settled her head on his shoulder. "You don't mind, do you?" she spoke quietly in his ear.

In response, he settled his arm around her.


End file.
